I was contemplating what to write as my first official post, and I realised I should try to keep it short and simple. I am an overthinker by nature and if I allow myself too much time to ponder on what to write (or sometimes eat), we’d be here all day and you’d be staring at a blank page.
I decided to post about a message that I wrote for a Mother and Daughter High Tea. I was blessed to be one of the many incredible speakers who graced the podium on that special day. The message the Lord had planted in my heart was overwhelming and I couldn’t keep it to myself. And I want to speak boldly about my experiences and the stories we all have locked up inside of us.
I hope you’ll enjoy this piece and share with someone who will immediately recognise themselves as they read along. Okay, I’ll stop blabbering now, here is Rise Up!
I grew up with my parents, my brother and sister. We had a good life, and we were happy. My father was my hero in every sense of the word. I was his little shadow and we were truly like besties when I was younger.
Things started to change as I reached my teenage years. As time went by I started to notice the cracks in my parent’s marriage. The arguments became more frequent and louder, they hardly spoke to each other at times, and my dad and I didn’t spend nearly as much time together as we did before. I was 16 and in Grade 11, it was a few weeks before the exams and I was determined to study hard because these grades were important in determining placement in a good university. One evening my dad sat us down in the living room, the room that used to be our sanctuary where we’d have our prayer nights and talk about our day. But this time was different, and with a few words from my dad, our whole world was turned upside down. My father no longer loved my mother and he was filing for a divorce. After over 20 years of marriage and three children, this is how my life and everything in it, came crumbling down.
I watched my mother fight back the tears and for the next few weeks thereafter, I could not speak to my dad. My hero was leaving, and I was left behind. My mother eventually came to me and begged me to go speak to my dad and I was confused, I wanted her to be just as angry as I was but here she was asking me to go and see my dad. And for the longest time I resented my mom for that and for my dad leaving. I felt stuck and my anger was later aimed at her. In all the time I lived with my mom, I cannot remember her breaking down or being upset in front of us when my dad left. She seemed to be okay but almost like she was operating on auto pilot. She never shared how she felt or let me know what happened. And life just continued, with the four of us. My mom became a single mother in mere weeks and we all had to adjust to our new lifestyle. I look back now and wished I had known what my mom went through, and of the hurt and pain she experienced. I wish she had told me, perhaps things between us would have been different…
As women we are made out to be strong and unbreakable. We must do whatever it takes to provide and nurture our families. Nothing can break us, if we go through tough times we suck it up and move on. Because we are women, that’s all that we are supposed to do. Right? No, I refuse to believe the narrative that that’s all that I am. That I cannot cry in front of my kids because they’re not supposed to see me break down and be weak. I need to protect them from ever experiencing heartache and sadness. That is not who we are ladies. We are not machines who should work around the clock and be okay with no rest, no me time and no cry time.
Your children are not apart FROM you, they are a part OF you and we should embrace every part of who we are and show them the messy parts of our lives. But the beauty in it all is that we show them that despite the crocodile tears, the bags under our eyes due to lack of sleep or stress, that we can RISE. Ladies, you have a tenacity and spunk and a fearless spirit gifted to you by God, and when you RISE UP, when you put your feet on the ground and STAND UP, the devil himself shakes in his boots. He doesn’t like us, but we’re not here to be liked because in a broken world, it is impossible. Today people like you, tomorrow they move on to the new flavour of the month. We were never created to be liked or to seek approval from others. We were created unique, beautiful, strong, resilient. We are more precious than rubies and we’re fearfully and wonderfully made. We have all been loved since before we were born. So whether you have 1000 or 1 like on Facebook, Instagram or TikTok, please know that you are liked, better yet you are loved by God, by your parents, by your teachers, by your friends. By the people God placed in your life, the ones that make you feel good, who you don’t have to pretend around. And I know we all have our own experiences when it comes to being loved, and sometimes we don’t have the best experience of what being loved looks like in the world we live in, but take heart that your Heavenly Father who planned every intricate detail of your being, loves you unconditionally, and this despite how many likes you have because you, as broken and wounded as you may be, He loves you regardless of all the flaws and mistakes. His love can never be washed away, it does not matter what you do, always remember that.
Love abides
Love through the pain
Love through the hurt
Love through the anger
Love through sorrow
Pray through the difficult times,
and always abide in love.
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